Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Self Mastery- I AM DOING IT!


If I hadn't signed up 3 weeks in advance for the missionaries to come over to dinner tonight, I might not have.

After all, for little obsessed me, tonight is a big night: Super Tuesday. We already knew that tonight would be intense for me but I couldn't have predicted the other little tests that accompanied it. It started with little Adelaide wanting to be awake at 6 am when I went to bed after 3am with a teething kamorah... Miss potty trainee going to the bathroom in her bedroom (twice) and then trying to clean it up(bless her heart) by spreading it all around her room, rubbing it into all sorts of things... the pen marks on the couch...the long hold on the phone over being wrongly billed, etc... Oh' today the drama came out in full force. Anything to try and get me to loose it, to give over my control. No way, nope, not this gal, not today! I AM IN CONTROL!

So, I did sign up for a missionary meal and they did come over. Don't get me wrong I always anticipate them coming over it. Not only does it give me an excuse to make sure my house is extra clean but I love the challenge to be more involved in missionary work (which I swore I would never let myself lose sight of when I became a "member missionary" instead of "full time"one ...how'd that slip?). However, with only 30 min before their ETA I found myself on the third of five loads of laundry (not exaggerating, see previous paragraph for details) my own clothes (now raunchy from the days unanticipated cleaning) needing desperately to be thrown into the bunch, a bag of cheerios spilled all over the entire kitchen floor, a dining chair with legs that mysteriously just broke off, a baby who wanted some milk, a meal that was half prepared, and a cute toddler still in the bath. I know (or at least hope) many of you share these types of days with me.

Well, wonderfully, it all worked out. Spence came home in time to help, the missionaries came, we ate, we shared, we felt the spirit... and I laughed inside at how wonderfully crazy life can be. Now, instead of biting my nails in front of a television, stirring up negative feelings as I listen to people I disagree with babble on, being emotionally challenged by disappointment in results...I find myself so happy and peaceful. Pleasantly situated on my bed, occasionally checking the CNN results, calmly concerned, but content and proud. Proud that tonight, after what could've been a disasterous roller-coaster of a day, I made up my mind I wouldn't let it be. And I go to sleep having mastered (for at least today) myself and my emotions.

Not only is SELF MASTERY a challenge, but it is miracle.

'What an exciting life is available for each one of us today!... One of the requirements of life is to be able to make choices. In order to do so, one must know how to look at things and at oneself. One must also learn that to live means being able to deal with difficulties; problems are a normal part of life, and the great thing is to avoid being overcome by them.

The battle for self-mastery may leave a person a bit bruised and battered, but always a better man or woman. Self-mastery is a rigorous process at best; too many of us want it to be effortless and painless."(Thomas S. Monson, “In Search of an Abundant Life,” Tambuli, Aug 1988, 3)

13 comments:

Rachel said...

Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh yes. Have I had days like that or what!??! Thank you for sharing it and making me smile. You handled it well. I always get so freaky stressed out when company is on their way for dinner.
I'm glad it all worked out and you were able to find the miracle in it all.
Hugs!

JAMIE COOK~ said...

Steve would love this...especiially the last part about choosing.
I only wish we had a washer and dryer so I could do the laundry. Ours just piles up for weeks because I don't have the energy to go out in the snow...then it just gets gross.

Your gals make me laugh, smile and cry. all at the same time. I can see Addy trying to help yet not quite there...so close though.


You didn't mention what you made for dinner that night and how the meal turned out. Did you at least plus in your crock pot?

You probably get to have the missionaries more than you would have if you were still here. I think that is so exciting. Funny how they always (no matter where you live ) come at the most aqward moments. I think that is how it is suppose to work out right?
Ps Andy is getting a tooth--explains her sadness lately. I need more pics of all this. Next time addy gets artzy try to take a pic for me

Meg said...

Sign me up for the self mastery class! Where do I sign?

SusieQ said...

Ummmm. Yeah. I could use a little more of that self-mastery.

Good job, Sara!

SusieQ said...

Self-mastery, I am doing it! Is that sung to the tune of Family History, I am doing it?

Stephanie said...

I'm all for "effortless and painless"...did I just say that out loud?!
Love this healthy dose of reality. We all have those days, and in the end, it's not how many times you get knocked down, it's how many times you get back up!
Here's to moms who will always get back up (albeit covered in food, vomit and all manner of human excrement).
Keep on keepin' on!

Clean Cut said...

Well, I saw the pictures of that messy room (literally)-and I'm just glad I wasn't the one who had to clean it up! You're amazing Babe. It would all have been so stressful to me, but you were so cool about it all. By the way, the Chicken Rolls were great!

Amanda said...

Oh, Sara. How I wish I could be like you on days like that. I definitely have a LONG way to go in the self-mastery department. I fear that I would have been in tears as soon as I saw that room and would have already given up on the rest of the day! :) You certainly have inspired me to be a little better and try a little harder. Thank you!

truebluejae said...

Yes, we all hav those days. Sometimes I wonder if I'll survive Jocey being a 2 year old! Way to plunge through it and stay calm, Sara! They're only little once.

k-dub said...

I think sometimes self mastery is way over rated! Just scream and get it out I say! Okay, just kidding, but I'm kind of tired of getting all the practice to work on it. Good job keeping it together and I'm so glad you got the spiritual upliftment in the end. That's always a good thing. Anyone know a good trick to getting permanent marker off the walls?

Amanda said...

k-dub--

I've heard the Mr. Clean Magic Erasers will get it off. They also seem to take off the paint a little, though.

H-less E-less said...

You got it susieq! To the tuen of Family History- I am doing it! "Se-elf Mastery, I am doing it, my se-elf mastery, and the reason why I am doing it are very clear to me. I won't lose control, I am on a roll, I can do this, look at me! I am happy, undeterred, when I practice mastery!"

Rebecca said...

Isn't it a wonderful thing that our Father in Heaven allows us to go through these hard times to allow us to reach our full potential and realize just how strong we are?! Our true character is definetely revealed during these times of trials! How wonderful you must feel for getting through a hard day and not losing it! I definetely have a long way to go with this! Thanks for sharing...it helps us all feel a little bit more normal for having days like that! Keep a postin'!